• I hereby resolve to make my own bed; pick up my clothes; and take out the trash the first time Mom asks.
  
• Dad hereby resolves to compliment Mom on every meal she cooks, and will regularly release her from kitchen duty by venturing forth to prepare a gourmet meal entirely on his own..."Honey, where do you keep the frying pan?" is a phrase that will never again fall from the lips of dear old Dad.
  

Everything you need to prepare a gourmet meal

• I hereby resolve to replace the kitchen accessories I have pilfered over the past six months. This includes the spoons hidden under my bed; the hot chocolate mugs in the back seat of the car; and the spatula at the bottom of the swimming pool. (I swear I don't know how it got there!)
  
• Dad fought the lawn and the lawn won. He hereby resolves to become the master of his domain -- the back yard. He'll whack those weeds; he'll prune those poinsettias; he'll...hmmm. What's the lawn mower doing in John Junior's tree house?
  
• I hereby resolve to walk around Mom's flowerbeds instead of through them. And I'll never, ever kick the tops off the delphiniums again.
  
• Dad hereby resolves to paint the trim over the garage, immediately following his workout at the golf course. This particular fitness program lends itself perfectly to the development of strong wrists - crucial when applying paint to the exterior of Mom's carport.
  
• I hereby resolve to remove the Tater Tots from the box before sticking them into the oven, thereby reducing stress for Mom.
  
• Dad hereby resolves to refrain from returning empty juice cartons to the refrigerator -- at least until after Mother's Day.
  
• I hereby resolve to watch him like a hawk.
  

Dad hereby resolves to simply remember his resolutions. A thinking cap might help.

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